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Miss
Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest:
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Question: If you could
live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live
forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
forever."
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Mariah
Carey:
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"Whenever
I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't
help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all
those flies and death and stuff."
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Matt
Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22/1998:
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"Researchers
have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in
the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other
similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
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David
Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to
pay his taxes:
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"I
haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the
law."
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Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
anti-smoking campaign:
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"Smoking
kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your
life."
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Winston
Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward:
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"I've
never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
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Mayor
Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.:
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"Outside
of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the
country."
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Jason
Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks:
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"We're
going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
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Hillary
Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents:
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"I'm not going to
have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president."
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Former
French President Charles De Gaulle:
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"China
is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
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A
congressional candidate in Texas:
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"That
lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm
just the one to do it."
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Former
U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues behind the
Los Angeles Riots:
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"When
I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the
killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame
for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the
killings? The killers are to blame."
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Philadelphia
Phillies manager Danny Ozark:
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"Half
this game is ninety percent mental."
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Former
U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle:
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"It
isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it."
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General
William Westmoreland:
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"Without
censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
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Former
U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United
Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is
a terrible thing to waste":
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"What
a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very
wasteful. How true that is."
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Former
British foreign minister Ernest Bevin:
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"If
you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut
right out from under your feet."
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Former
U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle:
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"I
love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
(6/16/1998) And just the other day, our boy Dan Quayle was quoted as
saying that the Republicans would definitely nominate someone this time
who would beat Bill Clinton. Of course the 22nd amendment precludes Bill
from running again...
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